Who Is My Mother and Who Are My Brothers?

Then His brothers and His mother came, and standing outside they sent to Him, calling Him. And a multitude was sitting around Him; and they said to Him, “Look, Your mother and Your brothers are outside seeking You.” But He answered them, saying, “Who is My mother, or My brothers? Mark 3:31-33

We all are familiar with the adage, “Blood is thicker than water” describing the closeness of familial bonds. Family is one of the greatest gifts God gave to humankind, though we often carry flawed views of its true meaning and value. These flawed views can run in opposite directions. To the one extreme, some people lack the “natural affection” (2 Timothy 3:3 KJV) that should be inherent to these relationships. This is evident in the willful slaughter of millions of unborn children every year (Exodus 21:22-25) as well as the neglect and abuse often perpetrated against many whose parents choose not to kill them (Deuteronomy 6:4-9; Ephesians 6:4; Titus 2:3-5). Children often likewise despise and disrespect their parents (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:1-3). Siblings often abuse or neglect one another as well (Genesis 4:1-12). How many husbands and wives have crushed the hearts of the one they ought to have loved above all other human beings (Genesis 2:18-25; Ephesians 5:22-33). In short, many have a tragically low view of familial bonds, despite the numerous biblical commands to love and care for our families.

To the other extreme, there are those who will stand in defense of blood relatives when they are clearly in the wrong. This is not to say that we abandon or give up on our loved ones when they are wrong as their restoration is the goal (2 Corinthians 5:20; Galatians 6:1; 1 Thessalonians 5:14; 2 Thessalonians 3:14-15). To the contrary, it is to say we must stand for what is right, even if it puts us at odds with family members. This is easier said than done as the urge to stand with our family members is strong. This is nothing new either. Eli failed to stop his sons who had perverted the priesthood, so God brought Eli’s family line to a bitter end (1 Samuel 2:12-4). Though he pled with them to stop their behavior, he stopped short of doing what the Lord demanded because they were his sons (1 Samuel 3:10-14).

In more modern times, once faithful Christians have reversed course on a number of issues (none more prominent than marriage, divorce, and remarriage) because family members were caught up in such matters. One of the most high-profile cases was the late James D. Bales. This is not to speak ill of the dead, but Bales once taught the truth about Christ’s marriage law with clarity and conviction. However, when his daughter went through a divorce for reasons other than the lone exception of fornication (Matthew 19:9), he wrote a book arguing for another exception to validate his daughter's newly formed marriage. You may know of other such instances or maybe you have given into this urge at some point. We must fight the urge and hold the line, even if it involves our family members.

I would like to suggest a three-pronged approach to this matter as found in Jesus’ teachings. Matthew 10:34-39 supplies the first two. First, we must recognize and accept that truly seeking His ways is sure to put us at odds with family sometimes. Second, we must love Jesus more than father or mother, son or daughter, etc. The third prong is found in Mark 3:31-35. The context of this teaching was His confrontation with the Pharisees who claimed He cast out demons by Beelzebub and that He had an unclean spirit (Mark 3:22-30). Following this encounter, His mother and His brothers approached wanting to see Him (3:31-32). Upon hearing of their approach, Jesus asked who His mother and brothers were, and then He stated that His mother and brethren were “…whoever does the will of God” (3:35).

So, while we must properly love, appreciate, and care for those with whom we share common blood in our veins, our closest relationships must be with those with whom we share the blood of the lamb of God Who was slain. Blood is thicker than water, and His blood is thicker than all others.