But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 1 Corinthians 7:6–9
There are a number of places in the Bible in which unmarried people are cautioned by those who love them about the decision they will make in selecting a spouse. Isaac charged his son Jacob, “You shall not take a wife from the daughters of Canaan” (Genesis 28:1). When Samson set his heart on a beautiful Philistine woman, his parents said, “Is there no woman among the daughters of your brethren, or among all my people, that you must go and get a wife from the uncircumcised Philistines?” (Judges 14:3). During a time of persecution Paul encouraged young people to stay single if they could (1 Corinthians 7:25–28), and he advised those who did marry to marry “only in the Lord” (v 39), that is, a Christian. In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul again commands those who marry to limit themselves to believers, and this time he supports his directive with the inspired writing of the prophet Isaiah.
Sadly, however, when it comes to romantic relationships, even the most passionate appeals from those who love us the most are almost always ignored. For example, when Samson’s parents pleaded with him to take a wife from Israel, he would not be deterred from his purpose to marry the Philistine woman he had chosen, “for she pleases me well” (Judges 14:3). I myself have personally counseled more than a few young couples whom I tried to discourage from marrying (at least for the moment). Of those couples who are still together, all of them are experiencing serious problems and probably wish they had listened to the advice that I (and others who loved them) tried to offer.
Then there are the couples who study the Bible with us and want to obey the gospel, but realize that their marriage is not scriptural. In some cases they have been married and divorced multiple times for every reason but adultery, and they have to come to terms with the implications of Matthew 19, which pronounces all such marriages null and void in the sight of heaven. Sadly there are very few people who have the faith and the strength to do what is necessary in such situations.
If only our single folks (particularly our young people) could see the dangers of marrying too hastily, homes would be a lot happier, much heartache could be avoided, and many souls could be saved from destruction. If only they would listen to God’s prohibition against marrying someone of a different faith, more families would be able to worship God together in harmony. Life is difficult enough when one has a marriage partner who shares the precious faith that comes from God’s word, but it becomes much more difficult (and needlessly so) when we unequally yoke ourselves with someone who is ignorant of, or indifferent to, God’s instructions for dealing with life’s problems.
If I could say something to the unmarried and the widows (cf. 1 Corinthians 7:8), I would say the same thing that I am already teaching my children: Marry someone who is eligible. Marry a Christian (that is, someone who belongs to the true church). Marry someone who loves the Lord more than he loves you. Marry someone who wants to please God before anyone else. If you choose to ignore God’s counsel, you will certainly come to regret it, but if you will have faith enough to follow it (even when it is difficult), God will bless you richly.