But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. Matthew 12:36-37
Have you ever said something in conversation and immediately wish you could pull it back in? I know I have as it is so easy to say too much. Not only is it easy to say too much, but it is equally easy to hear too much. As Proverbs 18:8 says, “The words of a whisperer are as dainty morsels, and they go down into the innermost parts” (ASV). The Bible is filled with warnings about this tendency and its negative consequences. It is impossible to quantify the trouble and strife the church has had to endure because of careless words. We must be on our guard if we are to keep this problem in check. This discussion seeks to offer some means by which we can protect ourselves and one another from this dangerous temptation.
First, we must remember that we will be judged for our words as a reflection of what is in our heart. Jesus said, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:35-37). According to Thayer’s lexicon of Greek words, idle words here depict useless or lazy words, careless speech. Jesus is not just addressing overtly hateful or filthy speech, though they are certainly included.
Second, careless speech is harmful on many levels. I have known situations where people have heard a negative report on someone, spread that report around, damaged the individual’s reputation, and then learned the whole thing was untrue. The Bible repeatedly says to never receive an accusation on the testimony of a single witness (2 Corinthians 13:1; Deuteronomy 19:15). Often things which are true need not be said. One could talk all day of the ignorant things I have done in the past, but what good would it do? God is not sitting around talking about His people’s past discretions, and neither should His people.
Third, there is no greater cause of discord among brethren than loose lips. In Proverbs 6:16-19, we read of seven abominations to the Lord, three of which are sins of the mouth: lying tongues, false witnesses, and those who sow discord among brethren. As James said, “Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell” (James 3:5-6)
With all this in mind, we must be “…swift to hear, slow to speak” (James 1:19) remembering we have twice as many ears as we do mouths. When we speak, we must make it a point to speak only that which is “…useful for building up” (Ephesians 4:29). This means many true things need not be spoken. Gossiping has never helped anything, so we must avoid it. The THINK acrostic is very useful as before speaking we ask:
Is it True?
Is it Helpful?
Is it Inspiring?
Is it Necessary?
Is it Kind?
If the answer to any of these is no, we just need not speak it at all. As David said, “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips” (Psalms 141:3).
One final key to address the issue of gossip is to remember that it is a consumer driven market. If we all make it clear we will not entertain gossip, then the temptation to gossip fades out of sight. Remember, if we are neither a part of the problem nor a part of the solution, we need not be told about the failings of another.